One of my biggest heroes and influences in life is King Benjamin in The Book of Mormon. Although I was not there personally at the time of his speech he addressed to the people he served over, each time I read the account of his message he shares, I feel a huge desire to become more like Christ. I love that King Benjamin  focuses on service and equality among all of Heavenly Father’s children. And as he does so, establishes himself as the example. Throughout his address, Benjamin repeats the phrase, “And even I whom ye CALL your king…” The word that sticks out to me in this line is CALL. Through such phrasing, the king himself does not raise himself to a higher state or position than the people. He in turn puts the focus only on how his people address him. I love that he doesn’t say, “And I who AM your king…” I think the words that King Benjamin chooses to use are beautiful because it provides a selfless example to his people, not for his own sake, but for the purpose of having them look toward Christ who is and always will be our perfect example of kindness, equality, and selflessness.

                One of my favorite verses in Mosiah is chapter 4 verse 19: “For behold, are we not all beggars, Do we not all depend upon the same Being, even God, for all the substance which we have, for both food and raiment, and for gold, and for silver, and for all the riches which we have of every kind?” King Benjamin automatically reduces the distance our society creates between those of different economic and social classes with this portion of his speech. He places each and every one of us onto one equal plane, letting our individual trials and hardships become a connection between each of Heavenly Father’s children.

In middle school, I met a friend who became one of my very best in life so far. Upon first meeting her, I didn’t notice anything significantly strange or different about her until I met her family. A few months later, she went on to tell me about their situation; They were an actively practicing polygamist family. My friend expressed to me the disconnect she felt with this lifestyle and how she knew it was not of God. She explained many forms of abuse in different circumstances she had first handedly witnessed. She has since then left her friends and family and everything she grew up with and was surrounded by to escape the harmful environment of polygamy. A few years ago she took missionary discussions with her husband and ended up not getting baptized.  To this day, they both say the one thing stopping them is the plural marriage that members of our church practiced during the restoration and establishment of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints while Joseph Smith was prophet.

This is why what we had discussed in my BOM class this week was so meaningful. In the book of Jacob, Jacob confronts his people for practicing plural marriage when not commanded to do so He gives them the law that they are not to marry of have relations with more than one woman. He also gives them the exception which states that unless the Lord commands them to do so “for the purpose of increasing His seed” (referring to members of the church) they will be held responsible for all of the pain and heartache of the women and children under such circumstances. He goes on to talk about women and how God views them in such a beautiful and tender way. The biggest thing I take from this is the reasoning given behind the exception. When Joseph Smith and the members supporting and sustaining  him during the early days of the restoring of the church according to this scripture, God commanded Joseph Smith to practice polygamy for this same purpose. Many women and even few young girls were sealed to the prophet in hopes of gaining access to the celestial world when he time came without any of the emotional, physical, and sexual abuse that accompanies polygamist families today. 

This week in class we studied 2 Ne 4 and 9 which include an emphasis on Christ’s Atonement explained by Lehi. The description and explanation he gives is beautiful. “And he cometh into the world that he may save all men if they will hearken unto his voice; for behold he suffereth the pains of all men, yea, the pains of every living creature, both men, women, and children, who belong to the family of Adam.”  The scriptures tell us that Christ descended below all things. Before he was crucified on the cross He prayed in a garden called “Gethsamane”. During the hours He spent there, Christ himself atoned for the sins of the world: meaning he felt and experienced all the terrible consequences and after effects that come from doing things that are wrong that hurt ourselves and others. Some of these include guilt, shame, regret, addiction, depression, anxiety, loneliness, despair. This was just part of the sacrifice He made for us. He also experienced and felt the weight of our personal trials and hardships we pass through in this life. His heart took upon the sadness that often comes along with the death of a loved one, the isolation paired with mental illnesses and disabilities , the physical pain of Cancer and impairing diseases, the injustice and inequality of haunting acts of prejudice.

Next time somebody tells you “I completely understand”, sadly they don’t. I commend them for their attempt to sympathize and offer support, however, the distance between sympathy and empathy expands and enlarges to a distance that we as human beings may not be able to fully comprehend in this life. That far-reaching distance is made up by the most selfless act of service the world has ever seen, Christ’s Atonement. Christ, our Savior, is really the only one who truly understands what we are going through because he experienced it himself personally. What a beautiful thing to me.

I remember in class talking about the nail prints in his hands and feet. It reminded me of a mission conference I attended previously. They talked about how Christ choose to keep these scars as a remembrance of His love for us. In class, somebody mentioned that He was the only one of Heavenly Father’s children that would have an imperfection in his resurrected body. Personally, I don’t believe this. I like to think that we will be given the option to keep scars and physical imperfections that have made us who we are. I was born with a port-winestain birthmark on my forehead and lip. When I was younger it was dark. It has lightened but remains the same size. I used to be embarrassed of it and would cover it up every single day carefully with expensive makeup once I entered junior high. I did this every single morning for about eight years of my life. On my mission, I stopped. I figured that embracing myself, my WHOLE self, for who I am and the body and imperfections that God had given me helped me to be more accepting of both myself and others. Today, my birthmark is one of my most favorite things about me. I love it and wouldn’t change it for the world. After I am resurrected, I hope God asks me, “Tessa, would you like to keep this?”. Because I will exclaim “Yes, yes, yes, I would!” Like Christ’s scars which stand as a reminder of His sacrifice (mostly for us), I believe that my birthmark is also a reminder of my reliance on Him. It is a symbol to me that He sacrificed because I, as an imperfect person with flaws and shortcomings, am able to feel whole and free as I accept Him and allow Him into my life. This is my hope and my perspective on how I might be able to someday keep something sacred and special to my heart to remind me of my reliance on Him throughout my journey here on Earth.

                Since returning home from my mission in Hong Kong, I have been studying as a pre-dental student. I have recently started a new chapter of my academic career at a university called Brigham Young University. This isn’t your everyday institution. It being a private school owned by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has been dedicated by church leaders as a place of learning where the spirit of God, our Heavenly Father may dwell and influence the studies and efforts of all those who have chosen to become a part of it. With that, the University offers religious study classes. This semester I am enrolled in an ancient scripture class in which we as students will, more specifically, be studying The Book of Mormon. Some of you may have noticed that I have mentioned this book more than a dozen times in the entries accounting my experiences serving as a full-time missionary. Although this book is an ancient historical record containing the history of over a thousand years of early North American inhabitants and comparatively complex doctrine explained by prophets who witnessed many events that had occurred during the time, the message of the book is actually quite simple. It shares of God’s love for his children and how that love is manifest through miracles once we decide to let Him into our lives. As a matter of fact, the entirety of the record may be explained in a few short sentences at the beginning of the book. It begins with the writings of a young man named Nephi. “I, Nephi, having been born of goodly parents, therefore I was taught somewhat in all the learning of my father;”, Instantly, this Nephi character is relatable to each and every one of us who have been raised by parents trying their best to teach us and help us grow and develop along the pathway of life into adulthood. However, what I find interesting about this line is Nephi’s use of the word “somewhat”, indicating that his father had not revealed all things known unto him, but rather had allowed his son to act on the things he chose to teach Nephi. I believe all good parents follow the same pattern in raising their children, in hopes that they may be able to learn and grow into something better and stronger than if they had not experienced hardships and slipped up along the way of life a time or another. “and having seen many afflictions in the course of my days, nevertheless, having been highly favored of the Lord in all my days; yea, having had a great knowledge of the goodness and the mysteries of God, therefore I make a record of my proceedings in my days.” Again, we may automatically see our own lives through Nephi’s account. Afflictions. Everybody has experienced them once or twice on their mortal quest to happiness. In this sentence, Nephi uses a cause and countereffect relationship which is apparent in his usage of the word “nevertheless”. Once again, I believe that most individuals reading this can attest that there will always be a countereffect to our afflictions as long as we are willing to handle them the right way and perceive them through hopeful eyes. Each of us have different ways of arriving at the results of a trial. Nephi goes about doing so with his faith in God being his Father in Heaven, a higher being he, Nephi, may look to for guidance and counsel when it seems as though there is nowhere else to turn. I, like Nephi, have chosen to believe in God not only as a source I may look to for direction, but as a physical breathing personage who lives and watches over me; someone I may rely on to reveal truth to me and those I love, someone who exists to understand and care about my most minute fears, hopes, and dreams. He is my father and my friend.

                This is only but one account out of dozens throughout The Book of Mormon, written firsthand by eye-witnesses of miracles, written by fathers, written by imperfect people living in an imperfect world, but believing in and striving for goodness, people like you and I who make mistakes and have doubts and flaws, but nonetheless, get right back up the next day and try again.  In Hong Kong, I shared this book with anyone and everyone I could. I knew that it had a certain power about it to fill the people of Hong Kong’s lives with hope, hope for a better world, for answers to long-awaiting questions, hope for peace and comfort within family relationships. It has done so for me. Something beautiful about the world is that we, as individuals, are each entitled to our own opinions and beliefs. That makes us who we are and helps us to express a uniqueness that each one of us hold. The intent of me writing this is not to force my opinion upon anyone, but rather to share what I hold near dear. We may not judge a book by its cover, but by the first page, maybe so.